EWA October 19, 2003

RESULTS
1. Mozart & Nightmare v Jesus & Big Al: Tag Team Tournament Qualifying match - Jesus & Al by pinfall when Jesus pinned Mozart after a Frog Splash
2. Mr.Bump v The Fallen - The Fallen by pinfall after the Critical Mass
3. Frankie the Frog v Dungeon Master - Frankie by countout when Dungeon Master walked out
4. Brave Dave & The Kid v Spike Steele & the Cremator: Tag Team Tournament Qualifying match - Steele & Cremator by pinfall when Cremator pinned Dave after a chokeslam
5. Foxx v Krackerjak - Krackerjak by submission with the Bastard Lock
6. Barry Bin Ladin & Mustafa Barstafa v Steve Valek & Insano: Tag Team Tournament qualifying match - Valek & Insano by DQ when Mustafa was revealed to be Mozart
* Break between shows *
7. Steve Valek & Insano v Jesus & Big Al: Tag Team tournament semi final - Valek & Insano by pinfall when Valek pinned Jesus after the Black Cross
8. Spike Steele & the Cremator v Rhino & T-Cup: Tag Team tournament semi final - Rhino & T-Cup by pinfall when T-Cup pinned Cremator with a roll up
9. Eden v Vida Loca - Eden by DQ when Jade Lexus interfered
10. The Candyman v George Julio: Lumberjack Match - Candyman by pinfall with a roll up
11. Steve Valek & Insano v Rhino & T-Cup: Tag Team Tournament final - Valek & Insano by pinfall to win the titles when Insano pinned T-Cup after the Diamond Dust
12. Battle Royal - Jesus last eliminating Mozart to win the Geelong Agricultural Society title

REPORT

I had a thoroughly enjoyable day at the EWA show today making my commentary debut. I also got lumbered with the ring announcing duties, which I didn't expect, but I thought I handled it very well (says he immodestly!). Krackerjak took over half the play by play though - cheeky you-know-what! *LOL* Good crowds viewed both the morning and the afternoon shows.

The main event was a battle royal which Jesus won after a wonderful four way display with him, Mozart, Krackerjak (leaving me on my own to call the match!) and Spike Steele engaging in a four way lock up (never seen THAT before!), a quadruple sunset flip and three hook ups with Spike bridging out of them! Great stuff! George Julio ran in and used a chair to bust Jesus wide open - and I mean his face was a mess - but Mozart threw himself over the top rope when Big Al ran in, to give Jesus the win. Fantastic match!

The EWA Title Match between the champion, the Jungle Cat, and the challenger, Lobo, failed to take place (pity that!). Jungle Cat had a leg injury and used lawyers to force Commissioner Daniel Matthews to cancel the match. But it didn't stop him from getting involved in the Lumberjack match between George Julio and the Candyman, using his crutch to good effect on more than one occasion. But it wasn't good enough as the Candyman rolled up the Hitman - so he assisted in a post match attack on the match victor. Commissioner Matthews - who was the guest referee - was attacked by a furious Julio after the Candyman defeated him.

The EWA crowned it's inaugural tag team champions in an elimination tournament. Steve Valek and Insano benefited from some misfired chicanery, an unprovoked attack and a mismatched team to take the titles. In the first round, the plans of Barry Bin Ladin blew up in his face when he tried to introduce his "cousin", Mustafa Barstafa. As the match progressed it became obvious that it was in fact Mozart, who had already been eliminated from the tournament in an earlier match. That fact got them disqualified. In the semi final, Jesus was left without his partner Big Al after an attack from Nightmare and then Mozart (who they had beaten in the first round). Valek and Insano were good sports about it, Valek even helping Al backstage whilst Insano and Jesus fought on. Valek eventually returned - and nailed the Black Cross for the win. In the final, Rhino - who had to cope with a new partner in the absence of the injured Mike Manson - was not happy with the choice, T-Cup. He was so angry in the finish that he blasted his partner and just walked out of the match leaving T-Cup to be hit with the Diamond Dust by Insano for the victory.

In other matches Vida Loca was disqualified in her rematch with Eden after the match at the Arena show when Jade Lexus interfered and the two girls did a number on the defenceless Eden. Krackerjak was metaphorically dragged from the commentary position by Commissioner Matthews to face - and defeat - Foxx, by submission with the Bastard Lock (also known as the Texas Cloverleaf). And Mr.Bump and the Fallen wowed fans with their match, which the Fallen won with a nasty Last Ride variation called the Critical Mass. The Dungeon Master inexplicably walked out of his match against Frankie the Frog after kicking out of his Frog Splash, and then there was the weird spectacle of "Mozart's Moment", where Mozart presented a woman who could break watermelons by squeezing her thighs together!

The next EWA show is yet to be announced, but when it is I'll let you know!

It never happened.