EWA April 24, 2003

RESULTS
1. Spike Steele v Steve Valek - Valek by pinfall after a power bomb from the second rope
2. Mozart & Fuel v Rack Dogg & Silekta - Mozart & Fuel by submission when Fuel made Silekta submit to the Indian Deathlock
3. T-Cup v Insano - Insano by pinfall after the Mental Breakdown
4. Barry Bin Ladin & Nightmare v Mike Manson & Rhino - Manson & Rhino by DQ when Bin Ladin used a chair from the top rope
5. George Julio v Ferrari - Ferrari by DQ when the Jungle Cat interfered
6. Jesus v Jungle Cat: EWA Hardcore Title Match - Jungle Cat by pinfall to retain the title after an inverted Death Valley Driver through a table

REPORT

A disappointing crowd of 50 or thereabouts attended the latest EWA show at the Lyric Nightclub last night, possibly because of the number of people attending dawn services on Anzac Day. The Anzac Bash was a good show, so those that didn't attend missed some good stuff in the ring.

The show started with a minute's silence for Anzac Day, but that was barely 20 seconds old before Barry Bin Ladin stuck his nose in! With Nightmare's help in translation he took his usual out of western society, but the pair of them high tailed it when Mike Manson and Rhino arrived to chase them off.

The first match saw Spike Steele work over Steve Valek, looking to have the match won several times. But Spike couldn't keep Valek's shoulders down despite two superplexes! He went for a third, but Valek blocked it and countered with a power bomb from the top rope to take an upset victory!

Mozart was upset as Stephan Cool couldn't make the show due to surgery - or so Mozart said anyway! New EWA commissioner Daniel Matthews decided that Mozart and his new "friend" Fuel needed a tag team match, and the opponents were Rack Dogg and Silekta - much to Mozart's horror. They managed to get the win though, despite some misfired outside help from Mozart's valet Surreal, the first backfiring and the second working. Fuel locked in a modified Indian Deathlock (which looked a lot like the one Triple H put on Booker T at Wrestlemania except Fuel used an STF type modification to the leglock) for the win.

Some sort of foul up on Rohan Herbstreit's notes had him announcing Frankie the Frog as T-Cup's opponent - infuriating Ballarat native Insano who took care of his own introduction. Like the first match, Insano had trouble putting T-Cup away. That included nailing his finishing move, the Starlight Diamond, and even that didn't net him a three count! But a modified Samoan Drop did the job, and Insano was prepared to shake T-Cup's hand after that. T-Cup wasn't prepared to do that at first, but eventually he did.

Jungle Cat was gloating after his title victory last show, but Commissioner Matthews wasn't about to let him rest and signed him to a title match against the number one contender - Jesus. Cat was furious at that as he was demanding the night off, but he didn't get it.

Barry Bin Ladin and Nightmare then faced Mike Manson and Rhino to hopefully settle that issue after this whole thing started back in January. However this did nothing to resolve it - in fact it only made it worse! Manson and Rhino got the win via a DQ when Bin Ladin nailed Rhino with a chair from the top rope. Bin Ladin was furious with referee Michael Hunt, and blasted his eyes with anthrax powder! That had me down to ringside with a towel as fast as I could go as a challenge was issued at the next show for a hardcore tag match!

Then it was my turn as the referee, as George Julio took on Ferrari. Julio was accompanied by wrestling legend Kurt Von Schneider, who lost very little time being a pain in the rear to me with his constant distractions - including a bloody whistle! Hey, I do that on Saturday arvo, Kurt so I don't need it at night!! Julio was also at his worst with constant choke holds having me work overtime with counting and getting physically involved at times. Ferrari fought back, but that only attracted the Jungle Cat to ringside. I was quick to make sure he didn't get involved, only to allow Julio to hit Ferrari with a chair. He was dragged to the corner for some reason and then the Jungle Cat made it in, and attacked Ferrari as well - causing me to call for the bell and DQ Julio. Ferrari was taped into the ropes for a chair attack and I was sent arse over tit by Julio as the attack went ahead. A handful of wrestlers ran in to break that up, and Ferrari fired out a challenge for a chair match. Julio made it a Chair on a Pole match - and Ferrari accepted.

Then came the main event, the Jungle Cat versus Jesus for the EWA title. Under hardcore rules with falls counting anywhere, Cat insisted that the Commissioner tear up the contract, even threatening to deck the Commish right there and then. But it didn't work. The match saw both men bleed, and chairs used liberally. Rohan and his co-commentator Krackerjak (who did a great job on the night) found themselves without a commentary table after Jesus squashed Jungle Cat through it with a elbow from the top of a ladder. It didn't get Jesus the win though (it got me a sore hand with the two count however!). But it was a table that finished the match, when Jesus went to the top rope, only to have his nuts cracked by Jungle Cat who got off the table in the ring. He picked him up in a torture rack, and from there nailed an inverted Death Valley Driver through the table and that got the win and a successful first title defence.

No mention of the piledriver last month - I think Daniel forgot (I wasn't happy about that) but what's done is done. The next show at the Lyric Nightclub is set down for Saturday May 31, and hopefully this time we will get a bigger crowd!

Unfortunately the Lyric went into a refurbishment and that show was cancelled with the remaining EWA shows being all ages shows.