ASW December 12, 2001

RESULTS
1. Ang Anarchy & Frank Smooth defeated Deliciously Cool when Smooth pinned Mark Delicious after a slingshot splash
2. Firestarter defeated Mr.Saturday Night by submission with the Burning Sensation in a Bag on a Pole match
3. King Haka defeated Damian of Damnation, Titanic and Santa Claus (the Ox express) in a gauntlet match with a Haka Driver, a splash from the top rope and a spear respectively
4. Austen Young defeated the Hardcore Superstar and Steve Frost in a triple threat match when he pinned Frost after a drop kick from the top rope as Frost was being held up the Superstar.
5. Chucky defeated Rohan in a two out of three falls hardcore match
- Rohan pinned Chucky when Chucky laid down for him
- Chucky pinned Rohan after a top rope splash
- Chucky pinned Rohan again after a powerbomb through a table
6. Steve O'Neal v KrackerJak - No Contest after KrackerJak was knocked out cold hitting the steps head first
7. Steve O'Neal pinned King Haka after Steve Frost decked Haka with the title belt to win the inaugural ASW heavyweight championship

REPORT
I really got into this night. Sitting in the front row, wearing my Donvale jumping and carrying my triple sign. The third that remained unchanged from October was the "WWF, WCW, ECW and more Yahoo Clubs!" third. The other two read "Rohan and Foghorn Leghorn. 2 Chooks who can't shut up!" and "Steve O'Neal = Port Power. Out in Straight Sets!"

My friend Sue and commentator Peter Farry got a laugh out of the Foghorn Leghorn one, and Rohan gave it a dirty look. Mind you, there were some other good ones - like "Rohan is a Wanker" and "Rohan fears Chucky". There was a sign competition which I was hoping I would win, but the winner was well deserved. "My boyfriend told me if I went to ASW tonight he would leave me. Gee I'm going to miss him!" (I think that's right). Anyway that was the clear winner as far as the crowd was concerned - and I wasn't going to disagree. It was a good one!

Note: That sign was in fact created by Autistic Enemy Rhiannon Lockwood.

I got to exchange a few high fives, and Criss Fresh of the Playerz went one step further with a pat on the back, and asking me words to effect of me scalping the ticket for a front row seat!! I didn't have a comeback for that. But I was rapt when he made some sort of remark commentating, and I came up with "They're well educated in West Heidelberg!" Criss acknowledged the remark with a grin, but Gene Gatto was equally quick to poke fun at me for it. Ho Ho!!

The matches were all good. There weren't any real bombs amongst them, although the main event - which turned into a double main event - was disappointing. KrackerJak went for a leap from the apron onto Steve O'Neal (who wasn't impressed with my Port Power sign - but not as angry as he was with my water remark at the last show which I would have followed up if my wife hadn't been with me then) and O'Neal got out of the way and Kracker sold a bump off the steps and lay flat out. He was carried off on a stretcher as O'Neal demanded the title, but then he called King Haka (who had come out to assist with Krackerjak) a "Maori Bitch"!!! OOOOPS!! Jim Demirov authorised Haka to take Kracker's place and the match continued. But Gene Gatto distracted the referee (what the heck was he doing?) allowing Steve Frost to sneak in, deck Haka with the title belt and allow O'Neal to get a VERY unpopular victory. The BS chant was almost deafening.

But the match of the night was the Hardcore match between Chucky and Rohan. Chucky delighted me backstage when he talked about the fans and he specified a few - which included "the guy in the green football jumper", AKA ME!!!! (I was wearing my Donvale jumper). After the first two falls went by quickly we got down to business. Chucky took a Holy [oops!] bump when he was shoved of a perch on a ladder in the ring, and he fell over the top rope and through two tables set up with a small Christmas tree and some barbed wire on top! I tried to start a Holy [oops!] chant but I got nowhere (rats!)

That idiot Hardcore Superstar needs his head read. He attacked two fans before and after the triple threat match. Sheesh! I'll stay out of his way! He's a big boy!

King Haka, before his impromptu title match, was signed to meet Ox. But instead Ox introduced his Ox Express in a gauntlet match, which included some bozo dressed as Santa Claus! Oh boy!

The night started great. This "What?" thing courtesy of Steve Austin is really taking hold. Austen Young and KrackerJak were in the ring and they had no choice but to roll with it whilst saying what they were there to say, before they were jumped by O'Neal and Frost after Kracker talked about "releasing his sexual tension" (!!!!!!!) and using a small Adelaide Crows flag to clean up the mess!! *LOL* WHAT?!